A Key Influencer Rock Bottom Motivation

It has been months since there was a post on the blog. I want to use this opportunity to give an update and to share my story why myself and Heathertique will have a fresh approach. A few years ago, I started Heathertique just on the side to sell the surplus of home decor good that I carefully hand-picked home decor & vintage goods for my personal collection. At the time, I worked full-time in a very secure government job, being a mom to the most awesome son aka the nugget, and trying to be a wife with a husband that traveled literally 75% of the year. At the time balancing life became a struggle and I fell hard; the last two years my world flipped upside down.

I will not go into specifics, but to name a few: there was a divorce, turning 40, that secure job I mentioned was gone and I got fat. With each stressful event that would occur, I would think to myself this is rock bottom! Life can only go up from here, right? It was not until a couple of months ago I was talking to one of my besties and she said, “Maybe you just need to hit ROCK BOTTOM to wake up.” How could she say that? She knew all my secrets, these events, my darkest thoughts, my insecurities, but she was right.

In late 2016 my remarkable family attorney Johanna Saxton Shields finalized the divorce and made the process a little easier,  but the ultimate devastation took place. I had to learn to share my son and as I write these tears fall from my eyes. You see the nugget was born during the 2008 Financial Crisis and just like most of us it impacted our family, especially in South Florida. Doing what he needed to do to provide for our family, the nugget’s father took a new career change with the stigma of the intense traveling. For years it was just me and the nugget while his father popped in and out of our lives. I do not mean that in a negative light, my point is my life revolved around this little boy who was my partner in crime and filled my dance card 24/7. Now I had to split my time and learn to accept that for the next ten plus years I would only be with him half of the time!?!? Yes, the divorce impacted me, but splitting time with the nugget almost killed me.

When I was solo (sans the nugget) I would lay in my room and sleep or use shopping as therapy by justifying it for Heathertique inventory. For months I was emotionally paralyzed, I did try my best to be a good mom.  It was really the only priority I kept during that time. Aside from that, I neglected everything from my health, the home I fought so hard to keep, my career, my new business. It was not like I did not know how to perform, I just could not function. Also, there is another element that I am hesitant to disclose because the subject is so over-saturated and controversial. Since I was a child I was diagnosed with severe Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and it makes life a little complicated and some people’s perception of me as “quirky.”

About a year ago the life shift made me to really look at my soul. The only way I can describe it as opening an old jigsaw puzzle box and staring at the 1000 pieces. So, one by one I started to put the puzzle back together and realize there were pieces that were missing! Also, why would I even want to do the same puzzle again?! The shift changed me, but who was I now? It also occurred to me if I am lucky to reach the age of 80, I was halfway through life. It was time for a new game and NOT a new one sealed in a pretty packaged box. It was time to for me to make my own game for life.

This is where I should stop writing and say everything turned out perfect all unicorns and butterflies, but that would be sooo not true. All the months of being stagnant took a toll; a lot of things in my world suffered – especially Heathertique. I had to pick myself up and I started with my health both emotionally and physically. I worked with a therapist on the head stuff and for the physical part, I purchased a FitBit. It really improved my health I tracked my heart rate, hot yoga sessions at The Yoga Joint, running, water intake, food intake and I eventually began to fit into clothes when I was single! It is a start, but with the motivation of not letting my son down, the support of a small tribe of the most awesome friends ever, and the fear of failing – I am receiving a new puzzle, this time one without a cover. Not only is my life getting an overhaul so is Heathertique. I still want to share my passion for curating, but it is only now that I have hit the basement so to speak. I want to post about other content from my new fresh awakening and share what I discover for my part two. I may not be J.K. Rowling, but she gave a commencement address at Harvard about her Rock Bottom!

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